I saw a post on Facebook today by a friend who lost her forty-year-old son a couple months ago after a lifelong debilitating illness. She shared a series of Halloween photographs when her son was still a very mobile child dressed up and obviously having so much fun. She posted more photos through the years and wrote how much they loved Halloween and how hard this first Halloween without him is. She was showing to her friends how thankful she was for all the years with him and also showing her grief in those images. Her son was wheelchair bound for over half his life, but it didn’t stop the adventures they had together. He had a Make-A-Wish trip to visit the President at the White House, and he got out to Kings game here in LA. Everywhere they went my friend photographed the adventure. I assume knowing her son would have a short time on earth she wanted to capture and preserve every moment so she could cherish them forever. She also documented the simple moments too like dogs curled up with him on the bed. Obviously, you can see the grief with the loss, she openly owns it, but in every image, I can see how much she loves her son and that she cherished every moment with him.
Her post today hit home for me. Her snapshots captured so much about life it motivated me to reflect and eventually write this post. I have always loved Halloween especially when my kids were in the innocent years of Trick or Treating. Probably the pinnacle year was the one where my daughter and her friend couldn’t decide on a costume. Late in the afternoon we came up with the idea they would dress up as old ladies. They grabbed a bunch of her grandmother’s clothing, reading glasses, walkers, and way too much lipstick and my daughter created the character Grandma Bernice. We took them down to Balboa Island, one of the prime candy spots in Newport Beach. It is always packed and fun. As my daughter and her friend went from house to house they stayed in character and as I followed behind them at a distance, I could hear other people talking how great their costumes were. I had a camera of course and I am so happy I documented that night because it was amazing. As a parent you know you only get so many nights like that with your kids before they grow up.
I know I started this post with a sad subject, but I trust everyone sees the message is to cherish life, to live it, and that it is awesome we have the ability to document the images so easily now. BUT still make prints, have a camera other than your phone, and back up everything off site (I have talked to a few people who lost all their photographs in Altadena, and they were not backup someplace). Happy Halloween 2025
